NAVIGATING FINANCIAL HELP iN AN ABUSIVE SITUATION

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It’s such a covert control tactic, many women who find themselves in these situations might not realize what’s happening. 

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 On the other side of the economic abuse spectrum is a different kind of financial abuser. This  type can refuse to work, feeling entitled to their partner’s money, run  large amounts of debt – ruining the victim’s credit – or even steal  their identity.

Stripped of financial independence, a woman in a  violent relationship can feel as if she can’t escape it. She may be  facing a lot of uncertainty, including realistic fears of homelessness.  Fortunately, there are resources available to help domestic violence  survivors get away and stay safe while gaining financial stability.

It’s never easy,  and it’s almost always dangerous. When the victim is leaving, the abuser, the abuser feels like he’s losing control and might go to extremes to prevent it  from happening. In fact, leaving an abuser is generally considered the  most perilous time for a domestic violence survivor.

It’s  best to always be prepared to escape, but keep such intentions under  wraps. Ideally, a woman leaving a violent partner should have a safety  plan that includes certain financial steps.

Don’t despair, even if  you don’t have everything in order and need to leave before you’re  fully prepared. As stressful as it is, with all the resources and  assistance available to domestic violence survivors, you can get back on  your feet with time.

 Another good idea is to open accounts your abusive partner won’t know  about. You can get a separate checking account from a different bank to  start building your savings and apply for a credit card to improve your  credit health.

Check your credit report and see what you can work on. If your partner ran debt in your name  stealing your identity, you can dispute it with the credit bureaus once  it’s safe to do so. After you’ve left, consider freezing your credit to  ensure it’s protected against your abuser’s fraud.

See related: How to freeze your credit: A step-by-step guide

Your credit card options may be limited if your credit isn’t in the best shape. However, you can always start with a secured card – they usually have less strict credit requirements. Some card issuers even offer free credit reporting. When used right, a credit card is a great step toward building your credit and gaining financial independence.

Look  into various budgeting plans and pick one that makes the most sense to  you. It’s essential to know how your money is coming and going,  especially when you’re working on becoming financially independent.

There  are many financial assistance resources that are offered to domestic  violence survivors for free. While it might take time to secure  financial resources for matters such as housing, child care or legal  assistance, a survivor can seek to access help that’s available to them  free of charge.

Here are the resources offered to domestic violence survivors.

One  of the most pressing issues for many women leaving violent  relationships is finding safe and stable housing. Having nowhere to go,  they fear they will be forced to live on the street. This doesn’t have  to be the case.

For many survivors, the first step to securing  housing is moving into a women’s shelter. Since many of them typically  offer housing for up to 30 days, they’re often called emergency shelters  (in certain cases the length of stay may be extended).

“There are  many domestic violence shelters that can assist abuse survivors to get  on their feet and put a plan in place to start living and earning money  on their own,” says Ryan Luke, a police officer in Arizona and financial  coach at Arrest Your Debt.  “The Salvation Army also operates as a domestic violence shelter that  can help survivors put together a plan to survive on their own without  their abuser.”

Advocates in shelters can also assist in other  important matters such as getting a restraining order and applying for  various types of financial assistance.

Our Take: The decision to go to a shelter is not an easy one. The fear of the  unknown plays into it too. You might be imagining a warehouse with rows  of bunk beds and wondering if it feels like a jail. I remember I was,  but looking back, there was no need to. I spent a month in a women’s  shelter in California, and I still have warm memories about it. By the  end of my stay, I didn’t want to leave. The place was just a normal  suburban home – many of the shelters are – and offered kindness and  support I couldn’t have imagined before. It was my safe haven after the  storm.

-Ana

You  can get phone numbers for the shelters in your area by calling the  National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH) at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or  talking to an advocate online.

While  in a women’s shelter, survivors can look for and secure transitional  housing. These facilities give their residents up to 24 months to find a  job while providing them with essentials like food and shelter, as well  as other services like child care, counseling, transportation, life  skills and sometimes education and job training. For many, it’s a  crucial step toward independence that gives them time to secure income  so they can move on to getting their own place to live.

You can  find transitional housing options through shelter referrals or the NDVH,  which can provide you with phone numbers of resources in your area.

Besides  finding a place to stay, survivors can sometimes find financial  assistance with a down payment for an apartment, utilities, lease  termination and other necessities. However, it may take time to secure.

Getting  financial help may be difficult, according to Ariel Gliboff, domestic  violence advocate, survivor and host of the podcast The Domestic Violence Discussion.

“I  used to volunteer at a DV center in Washington state,” she said. “We  had a budget we could use for financial aid, everything from gas,  diapers, food and hygiene products to down payments on apartments.  However, the need was always greater than the budget, so on an average  year, it would be out by June.”

Still, don’t be discouraged to  reach out or ask your advocate to help you. It’s best to know what is  and isn’t available to you before crossing things off of your list.  There’s a great variety of programs, many of them local. For example,  the Texas Council on Family Violence lists resources on utility waivers and lease termination, and the California Victim Compensation Boards may reimburse you up to $2,000 for relocation if it’s necessary for safety or emotional reasons.

“Resources  for survivors are going to vary by state. In my opinion, the best bet  is to call the NDVH,” Ryan recommends. “They can find resources in  whatever location the survivor needs, and they offer services in over  200 languages and services for deaf survivors.”

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 Tip: To find personalized financial aid options, try the Compensation Compass,  an anonymous and free tool from FreeForm that finds solutions for  financial recovery in your case and provides step-by-step guidance to  pursue them.

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Legal issues  often complicate matters even further for survivors. Some need to file  for a restraining order, others seek to secure custody over their  children and others face immigration fears.

A restraining order is  often necessary to protect a woman from her abuser. It’s not only  stressful to try and get one, but also requires preparedness – and  sometimes certain court fees. But it can also offer some financial  assistance if granted, such as temporary child support, rent or mortgage  payments or other types of support.

“Orders of Protection  (restraining orders) are available at most city and county courts,” Ryan  explains. “Often, if a domestic violence survivor cannot afford the  court fee for the order of protection, the court will waive the fee.”

Additionally,  many survivors don’t have funds to hire an attorney, which is  especially frustrating – and even intimidating – if the abuser can.  Fortunately, they don’t have to walk this road alone. Many nonprofits  offer advice on how to prepare for a protective order hearing and send  advocates to be there for the survivor on the day of the hearing.

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Tip:  Gaining custody of children and facing immigration challenges are two  other legal battles many domestic violence survivors have to fight. In  such cases, having legal support can be crucial.   Fortunately, it’s possible to find free legal assistance from various national organizations. Sometimes, a survivor can even receive help from an attorney who agrees to work on their case on a pro bono basis. 

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On  a local level, there are nonprofit organizations also aiming to assist  domestic violence survivors facing legal challenges. It’s a good idea to  reach out to your advocate for a list of resources or try the NDVH.

It  may take you a while to call every resource and inquire about the help  they can provide, but the more calls you make, the higher the chance  you’ll find what you’re looking for.

As  you’re working to support yourself and your children financially, it  can be easy to forgo the importance of emotional recovery. Abuse leaves  lasting psychological scars, which can take years to heal. It’s best to  start working on your emotional health as soon as you can, and it  doesn’t necessarily mean paying costly therapy fees.

Reach out to  the NDVH or your advocate for referrals. It’s possible to find group or  individual counseling from nonprofit organizations at a very low cost or  free of charge, as well as psychotherapy on a sliding scale. If you’re  eligible for Medicaid, it may cover your mental health treatment costs  as well.

If you’re taking prescription drugs, look into patient assistance programs that allow low-income individuals to access prescription drugs at a lower rate or free of charge.

Starting  your life anew after such a traumatic experience isn’t easy and comes  with many challenges. Even the help that’s available isn’t always  possible to get, but don’t give up.  Keep seeking it, and it will come –  sometimes from where you least expect it.

Amid the coronavirus outbreak, domestic violence has escalated all over the world.

According to UN Women,  as the pandemic deepens economic and social stress coupled with social  distancing measures, gender-based violence is increasing exponentially.  There have been surges in reported cases of upwards of 25% in countries  with reporting systems in place, and it’s likely that this number only  reflects the worst cases.

Women are forced to ‘lockdown’ at home  with their abusers while many services to support survivors are  disrupted or made inaccessible. The pandemic is also making violence  against women more complex: Abusers use exposure to COVID-19 to threaten  their partners, exploit their inability to call for help or escape and  can even go as far as to throw them out on the street with nowhere to go  if the virus symptoms emerge.

“COVID-19 has created a petri dish  for already abusive relationships to grow worse, and for dysfunctional  ones to mutate to dangerous,” says Maura Mitchell, former president of  the Board of Domestic Violence Solutions of Santa Barbara, California.  “The pandemic also makes it more difficult for victims to escape.”

Today, Maura, a domestic violence survivor herself, runs Empowered Bakery, a healthy snack company that donates 5% of net profits to domestic violence nonprofits.

“Under  quarantine, many victims are forced to be with their abuser 24/7, cut  off from family, friends and support systems,” she explains.  “Virus-driven life changes and financial problems are stressors,  potentially triggering abusive incidents.”

The rise in domestic  violence cases and their intensity also means there’s an increased  demand for victim services. Since the need is often greater than the  resources available, and the pandemic may affect the availability  itself, survivors are facing ever more challenges.

Our Take: For women who aren’t in abusive relationships, you can still be an ally  for survivors of domestic violence and help make a difference. During  this time of crisis, many members of our community are silently  suffering and trapped in dangerous homes. If you have a friend in need,  help connect them with resources like the National Domestic Violence  Hotline or local shelters. If leaving is not an option, be a safe space  for that person and remind them they are not alone. You can also donate to supportive organizations in a variety of ways.

-Adriana, Caitlin and Emily

“Certain  things are still available; certain things are more restricted or  gone,” Ariel says. “Help lines are still open, and many advocates are  working remotely. Please, call if you need!”

Maura urges women to seek help even in these challenging times.

“The  NDVH is fully staffed, with advocates working remotely to help victims  create safety plans and connect with local resources,” she encourages  survivors. “Local district attorneys and law enforcement agencies are  publicly highlighting the explosion of domestic violence incidents  during the national shutdown. Many have advocates in their offices,  on-call to assist those experiencing abuse.”

Many domestic violence shelters also remain open despite the pandemic  and are fully operational. However, you can expect additional safety  measures to avoid contagion, such as medical screenings and regular  temperature checks.

Leaving  an abusive relationship is a tough decision, and its financial  consequences can be overwhelming. The support system is there for you,  but the resources are limited, and the information can get confusing.

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DON'T GIVE UP! YOU'LL FIND YOURSELF CLOSER TO INDEPENDENCE!

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The path to healing and financial recovery may be long and  challenging, but the more you reach out for help, the more chances you  have to get it.

As Maura reminds us with a famous Mr. Rogers quote, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”

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The  editorial content on this page is based solely on the objective  assessment of our writers and is not driven by advertising dollars. It  has not been provided or commissioned by the credit card issuers.  However, we may receive compensation when you click on links to products  from our partners.

Anastasiia Staples is a reporter for CreditCards.com and covers product news and credit  advice. She loves sharing financial expertise with her reader and  believes that the right financial advice at the right time can make a  real difference. In her free time, Anastasiia writes romance stories and  plans a trip to the French Riviera she'll take one day—when she has  enough points, that is that includes what they do, how long they’ve been at it, and what got them to where they are.

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