Below is information on the four basic personality types. When you understand the DISC personality types, you begin to understand how a normal person thinks, acts and feels. Now you can understand how to accept him, how to act and speak to improve your relationship with him. You change him from a difficult person to a nice person all in how you learn to relate to him. You can also learn more about you. Look at your talents and abilities. Consider what you are good at and what you do not want in your life. Learn that being YOU is perfectly okay.
There is much more, but a DISC overview can be helpful as a reference. This does not apply to a toxic, abusive narcissist, just difficult people whom you find hard to understand. It just helps you recognize what you are dealing with. A direct person will seem abusive to some personalities, but it is just how one person speaks and how the other person perceives it. Look at "How Others View You" to understand more of this concept. However, knowing the personality helps to recognize some of the tricks the narcissistic or abusive person uses. Applying this knowledge to children can change their lives.
Busy, messy desk
Status symbol cars
Trophies
Certificates
Formality
Calendars
Planners
Steady eye contact
Strong hand shake
Piles of paper
Comfortable dress
Tells instead of asks
Is practical
Wants the bottom line
Confronts
Feels unsympathetic
Acts impatiently
Decides quickly
Interrupts
Thinks logically
Speaks bluntly
Be brief and to the point
Help or get out of his way
Help him “win”
Let him be in control of his life
Give him a varied routine
Agree on a goal
Compliment him on results
Argue with conviction, use facts
Be confrontational if needed
Totally disorganized office
Animated expressions
Awards on walls
Dramatic
Messy desk
Papers all over
Participator
Comfortable chairs
Dress with flair
Bright colors usually red
Motivational posters
Warm, friendly
Certificates of accomplishment
Family photos everywhere
Talks about feelings
Has a poor concept of time
Tells interesting stories
Speaks informally
Varies a loud, dramatic voice
Is opinionated
Distracts easily
Talks fast
Exaggerates
Tells instead of asks
Is interested in your reaction
Share his feelings
Show you admire him
Be optimistic
Compliment him often
Keep up a fast, lively
Varied pace
Avoid arguing
Give him extra time to do a job
Help him follow through with
plans
Be non-aggressive
Be enthusiastic, appreciative
Avoid details, focus on the big picture
Give him opportunities to talk to others
Calm, serene pictures & posters
Nostalgic memorabilia
Side-by-side seating
Friendly, warm atmosphere
Certificates of volunteering
Conservative dress
Personal items everywhere
Family & group photos
everywhere
Listens more than speaks
Has warm, caring tone & words
Speaks slowly
Uses Indirect eye contact
Speaks, acts non-threateningly
Asks not tells
Starts with small talk
Speaks with steady, even voice
Asks opinion before deciding
Doesn’t talk about himself
Walk him through the process
Help him create a plan of action
Minimize risk
Help him get started
Use reason and logic
Use outlines
Be non-aggressive
Encourage him
Give a lot of time before making
changes
Neat, Organized desk, office
Functional, practical work area
Formal actions
Latest technology available
Conservative colors, clothes
Expressionless
Charts, graphs on walls
Objects within reach
Indirect eye contact
© LifeSkills International 2015
Never discusses feelings
Has formal words and
sentences
Talks using facts
Has consistent tone & voice
Shows few facial expressions
Over-explains
Shows few gestures
Has focused discussions
Answers slowly
Thinks before speaking
Use reasoning, logic, facts
Approach in a non -threatening
way
Give explanations
Give instructions in writing
Allow him to ask all his
questions
Be brief, to the point
Compliment his accuracy
Allow him to think before
answering
Answer “why” & “how”
questions
Let him think before making a
decision
Compliment him on his
thoroughness
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