Divorce

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Three things you can do today to help you through the pain of divorce:
    1. Understand where you are in the grief process
    2. Recognize the Fairy Tale lies
    3. Create a plan to move out of the pain

If you are involved in a divorce, you have many feelings and emotions to work through. Your joy of life is gone. You wonder if you will ever be happy again. You may not really understand what is happening. You may feel numb or cry all the time. You feel isolated and misunderstood.

Guilt: You feel responsible for the breakup or for some aspect of the divorce. Have you been told that this is your fault, that you are destroying your family? Even if you want to stay married, do you blame yourself for putting your children through this emotional upheaval? You feel guilty and don't even know why.

Resentment: You feel angry for all that is happening to you. You may feel that someone else is deciding your future, that your life is out of control. You lost friends or in-laws you enjoyed. People you thought were your friends have sided with your spouse and you feel betrayed. You feel like you wasted years of your life on someone who didn't appreciate you. You gave until you couldn't give any more.

Pain: You think about the future and it hurts. You think about the past and it hurts. You wonder how you will get through this terrible time. Your dreams, your future, are dead. You don't know how you can live through such pain.

Confusion: You wonder how your perfect marriage could fail. You don't understand why your best wasn't good enough. You feel like you're going crazy. Everyone is giving you advice and you don't know which way to turn. Your emotions are on a roller coaster. Concentrating seems impossible.

Embarrassment: You feel ashamed when people find out that you are in the middle of a divorce. You feel like a failure. It's humiliating to tell your friends and family. You don't know what to say.

Fear: Are you afraid to be alone? You may be worried about retribution from your spouse or that your children will reject you. You may be afraid that your family will blame you. You are afraid that no one will love you, appreciate you. You are afraid that no one will be there for you, take care of you when you get old, share sunsets with you.

Divorce is the death of a dream and a future. You are feeling grief, pain, resentment, confusion. This is a difficult time for you. I will listen. You need help. I can help. We can develop a plan to work through and sort out your feelings and reduce your stress. I will help you identify your options when making difficult decisions. I will help you gain control over your life.You have a friend who listens and understands. Through strategizing,you begin to regain the security you have lost. Your life will have order and peace. When you need someone to care, I will be there for you.

Call Life Betty Eddy at 713-459-7222, e-mail me at lifeskills_intl@yahoo.com

LifeSkills International, Untying the knots of life